#260: Dark Entomology

by KC Wilder

The most repulsive parasite to ever nest in human flesh measures 98 millimeters long.  The giant cockroach.  It’s believed to subsist for as long as 9 or 10 years by sucking all the juices out of human genitalia.

Scientists call this a mutant insect parasite, genus giganticus genitalis cockroach.  Its method for extracting seminal juice from human genitals is unique.  As of this writing, it’s also incompletely understood.  Microscopic tubes, resembling tentacles, extend from its mouth.  Once this parasite inserts these tubes into human genital flesh, the creature latches on and fixes itself in place for years.  Gorging itself in feeding sessions which may last up to an hour and that may occur as many as twelve times a day, it sucks out all the semen, seminal or amniotic fluid it can find.  It seems to have no preference between male or female hosts.  In nearly all cases, this parasite renders its human host impotent.

Attached to a healthy human host, the typical genital cockroach increases in size everyday. It continues gorging itself on sex organ fluids for as long as it remains attached.  Prolonged parasite attachment has in some cases led to sterility.

Recently a giant genital cockroach was found on a New York City sidewalk inside a plastic bag, the kind routinely dispensed by Walgreen’s to package household sundries.  Seven inches long, the parasite had recently separated itself from its human host.  The creature was at the end of life and had crawled off to die alone.

Another giant cockroach was recently found in a bathroom sink, attached to the drain, extending its oral tentacles to suck out water droplets and scrape debris from the sink bottom.  Again, this was a giant genital cockroach at the end of life, most likely separated from a longtime human host.

The facts about this mutant cockroach are still sketchy.  It’s rarely been observed for long in the laboratory.  As one may imagine, human beings who know they are afflicted by a giant genital cockroach do not tell anyone, even their loved ones.

Science is unsure how these creatures mate or reproduce, but this parasite is not known to be contagious.  Exactly why they appear, attaching to one person’s genitals while leaving a partner’s untouched, is a mystery.  How a giant genital cockroach nestles, sucks and grows unmolested for years, is also steeped in mystery.  Scientists are only now beginning to study this.  Entomologists worldwide are curious, challenged and baffled.

One great challenge remains: the institution of entomological science reacts slowly.  When faced by anything as strange and obscure as this, tenured track professors are reticent to discuss.  Even to acknowledge the existence of this creature, for established professionals, is seen as problematic.  In this respect, the recent discovery of the giant genital cockroach resembles the early days of global warming … the conservative and closed-minded call it outlandish.  They will refuse to acknowledge this phenomenon.  Some fear that discussing the giant genital cockroach will damage their reputations and hurt their standing in the academic community.

Unfortunately, this means that research done on parasites of this kind remains limited and that discovery of this creature’s behavior slow.  Meanwhile, giant genital cockroach populations proliferate.

Award winning writer KC Wilder is also long unemployed, with no health insurance, and living off a soon-to-completely-disappear public dole. Like a busking musician who puts his hat out after playing on the street, Wilder has a paypal account … this can be found on paypal.com at devonian@flash.net.  Readers who appreciate Wilder’s writing are asked go to paypal.com and contribute whatever they can … help this writer from having to live under a bridge.

Noel Tanti likes to think of himself as a Jack-of-All/Master-of-None.  He has painted, sculpted, written, acted, directed, danced and ran 15 miles, with various degrees of success.  He showed most promise as a midwife for cats.  His ambition is to become the greatest person you’ve never heard of.